A few Jade faces.

Jadey sometimes cries at me because I can be all these great things to her, but I don't have the boobs. Well, I HAVE boobs, but not the kind that make yumminess.

I still make her smile via distraction, but once she realises that YES, she really IS hungry, she gets after me again. I made Jo take a picture anyway, cos it's cute.

Sweetest. Baby. Ever.

I picked out the shirt, and I was thinking of you when I got it.

I read in New Mother Quarterly, you know the one where they tell me that I'm perfectly normal for feeling self conscious about my body and give me tips on how to lure my partner out of his workshop and in to help change a dirty nappy now and then? Yeah, I read in that magazine about how they're not even sure if babies dream.

This kid, this newborn baby, is smiling in her sleep. Smiling.

Don't really dream? Bull. Shit.

Grumpy now, still dreaming.

One of the best things about this string of pictures is that they were all a few seconds apart. I was pottering about in the kitchen while Jo very quietly snapped these and I heard her exclaim after each one, so I knew they were good.

She still sleeps alot. And her Daddy loves her and loves to kiss on her even though it barely stirs her from slumber.

Jo made me retitle this photo "Best Photograph Ever" and I still don't know why. She took this while I was hoping for a nice Father and Baby shot, but she waited too long and I started screwing around again.

I love this one, and Jo truly proves, once again, her amazing talents with a camera. Once I can convince her to start letting me take pictures of her, we'll frame this one and hopefully a partner for it.

Posted by JuddHole

This blog was the one that changed everything in my life, so it stands to reason that it continue to do so. I hope it starts with my underwear.

There’s Spinach in My Pants.

I may be letting a bit of a secret out by admitting this, but... I'm not really just like I am in this blog versus Real Life. I write in here with stories and opinions that paint a certain picture, build a persona of someone that isn't quite like me.

When the time comes for your beloved Wife to undergo painful and serious abdominal surgery in order to bring forth your child, you take it VERY seriously. So be warned, these pictures are NOT meant to be funny.

I lied about being in IT, I actually AM a doctor. I had just finished my rounds when Wife was wheeled into the PreGettingBabyCutOuttaYou Area.

And by "rounds", I mean "can you believe they didn't even kick me out or ask me to knock it off?"

I found out that you don't need tits to make the sounds coming out of her head stop.

I can't be positive, but I think she looks like me.

I'm also not completely certain, but I may actually be completely, 100 percent, absolutely, wholly and truly, lamblastedly, shaznasterly, SMITTEN with my child.

We got to take her home on Australia Day and I think I managed to convinced her that the fireworks and barbecues were all in her honour. She's obviously not impressed, but that may be because Mother Nature tried to cook her. She does this though, this sleeping thing, where she sleeps all the time. Sleepy. Sleepery.

Posted by JuddHole

This blog was the one that changed everything in my life, so it stands to reason that it continue to do so. I hope it starts with my underwear.

Baby Pictures!

Testament to the manner in which both me and Jo handle tense, anticipatory, somewhat-stressful situations, I can be found imitating an actual physician early in the Jade's Born Today story, but never got my chance to issue forth doctory sounding medical jargon at random passerby just because we happened to be in the "Shhh Quiet Coz We're About To Give Birth" Ward.

Case in Point, Posey McHamington makes a sweet face literally minutes before having a nearly 8 lb child yanked out of a slice in her belly.

I'm kind of wondering what it will take to get the two of us to act mature and our age and all that boring kind of thing.

Jo was into it, being entertained and all and distracted from being about to be cut open, so I kept up the shenanigans and didn't even get told to knock it off by the attendants.

Okay, don't look too close here, because you might be able to tell that there's the slight chance, I mean one in a million, that I might possibly be, maybe could be considered, in an alternate reality...

...a teeny tiny bit nervous.

Neither me nor Jo had ever seen anything so beautiful, but being realists, we had to admit that she looked like a little cartoon bug... which quickly became her first nickname.

"Move the blankie honey, I can't even SEE her!" Wife says, while I try not to burst into tears if for no other reason than raw emotion.

I can't be certain, as I've never seen that guy with his own newborn before, but he kind of looks like he's incredibly in love with his beautiful child.

Happy Australia Day!!!

Before the fireworks and After the Barbecue, little Jade journeys home, on a day that could be considered as hot as a place called HELL, her extremely fine and beautiful newborn hair blew in the furnace-like breeze while she napped, peacefully and quietly.

Roni took one look at this one and immediately likened it to the expression on the face of the 115-year old at his birthday party in the Nursing Home. "Who are these people and why are they giving me presents? Who shat in my pants?"

Jo just looked at this pic while I am typing this and asked, quite sincerely, "She's so beautiful, how did I get so lucky to make such a beautiful child? What was it I did to deserve this beautiful child?"

She's 3 days old and somehow manages to track people's eyes and lips when they are speaking. She's terribly interested in what mum's saying at this point.

And here she is actually trying to respond. She sometimes looks apologetic and/or frustrated when she's "speaking" because she can't actually make words, but she gives it a go anyway.

Georgia was very gently explaining to Jade that she loved her, and something that I couldn't quite make out about how it's the role of a big sister to show a little sister about certain things and something about "watch out for what you chew on, cos Dad'll lose it."

It's true. I wanted to try and be all pragmatic and realistic about my current kids and my new kid, but it's undeniable. Jadey loves her big sister and her big sister loves her.

Again, I'm not positive, I mean I'm not exactly the most objective party here, but I may have the most gorgeous children EVER.

Am I wrong? Go on. Tell me. I can take it.

Freakier still is how much that beautiful blonde thing looked like her little sister when she was that size.

Holy CATS! AND Yammers! Speaking of looking like your sibling, holy sheezonits! And OH MY DOG could my kids be any more photogenic?!?! I can't explain to most of you folks, that live in other continents and all and haven't met my kids yet, but they really ARE that gorgeous.

I don't have enough time to write about this boy and his relationship with his little sister. I was going to say "enough words", but that isn't true. I DO have enough words. Hell, I could fill a novel, because I Know this kid like I Know no other. He's ME, all over again, and I could write for years (and probably will) about who this kid is.

I digress. He's nothing short of amazing, and he goes out of his way to cuddle this little baby whenever he can. She'll be fussing, and will actually stop her whinging when he comes in the room and is simply telling me about his Leapster. True story, she hears his voice, much like when she hears mine, and gets distracted with someone she is absolutely fascinated with.

Posted by JuddHole

This blog was the one that changed everything in my life, so it stands to reason that it continue to do so. I hope it starts with my underwear.

She's Perfect.

She's happy, she's healthy, she's perfect.

Simply Perfect.

They made me leave the hospital, though I tried to stay, and I am home now, staying up much later than Wife would allow given the amount of sleep (~4 hours over last 2 days) and excitement (~50 Brazillian) I've had lately, but I can't seem to settle down.

So, I'm going to have a shot of Tequila, as I love it and it was my Xmas present, and try to carve from this night a slice of sleep.

My bed, a soft, welcoming, and recently laundered place, is empty with the exception of me, and one of the most profoundest of understatements that I could muster right now would be this:

I'm NOT looking forward to my first night away from Jo since I came here.

But I AM looking forward to seeing my baby again. I do love her so.

Pictures and more later. Smooches.

Posted by JuddHole

This blog was the one that changed everything in my life, so it stands to reason that it continue to do so. I hope it starts with my underwear.

Perfect.

She's happy, she's healthy, she's perfect.

Simply Perfect.

They made me leave the hospital, though I tried to stay, and I am home now, staying up much later than Wife would allow given the amount of sleep (~4 hours over last 2 days) and excitement (~50 Brazillian Shitloads) I've had lately, but I can't seem to settle down.

So, I'm going to have a shot of Tequila, as I love it and it was my Xmas present, and try to carve from this night a slice of sleep.

My bed, a soft, welcoming, and recently laundered place, is empty with the exception of me, and one of the most profoundest of understatements that I could muster right now would be this:

I'm NOT looking forward to my first night away from Wife since I came here.

But I AM looking forward to seeing my baby again. I do love her so.

Pictures and more later. Smooches.

Posted by JuddHole

This blog was the one that changed everything in my life, so it stands to reason that it continue to do so. I hope it starts with my underwear.