Hey Lady…
Frequently, I hear something on the radio and think, "Hey, I could play that, if only I had the tabs..."
For the horrifically uncool, "tabs" are "tabulature" which is musospeak for "numbers where your fat fingers should go on the strings and frets.
It's basically how I learned to play guitar.
So, frequently I hear something and want to learn to play it. This is a beautiful way to learn how to play, I've learned, because just like piano lessons from Mrs. Chubbycheeks when I was 8, if the song sucks there's no inspiration to learn it.
Who wants to play shitty music?
Last song that really stuck in my head long enough for me to climb out of the car, go inside, and still somehow magically remember to look it up on Ultimate Guitar (the greatest guitaring website in the entire known Universe, including Uranus) was by Led Zeppelin.
Now, I only knew the opening guitar riff and a bit of the words, so Google had to help, but I found out it's not "Hey Lady" which is something that rude Mexicans yell at you to try and get your girlfriend to buy an overpriced bead necklace or hoodie made from donkey dung.
Nup, it's called "Over the Hills and Far Away" and I happily plugged that into Ultimate Guitar.
I found some tabs I liked (the ones with 3 or more stars on their rating) and clicked the link, breathless with the anticipation that can only come from being the next Robert Plant.
I got this:
This tablature has been made unavailable in your country at the request of the rights owner.
Excuse me?
Unavailable?
IN MY COUNTRY?
They may as well have said, "We're American Assholes so Fuck Everybody." because really, that's what it translates as, and I didn't even use Babelfish.
They also forgot that I am a Google Ninjatastic Pimpdaddy 5th Level of the Octagon, which means I had the "cached" version loaded up and the original content displaying on my browser RIGHT HERE IN MY FUCKING COUNTRY just fine, thank you very much Mr Asshole Rights Owner.
It copied, it printed, it looks just like all the other music in my "Geetar Moozak" folder here, surprisingly enough, and I sound just like Paige and Plant and all the rest of the musical wonderment that may fall out of your radio occasionally.
Go figure.
K, I totally lied, I sound nothing like Robert Plant, but that's because I have decent hair on my head and testicles.
ROCK.
This tablature has been made unavailable in your country at the request of the rights owner.
