Damon graciously offers the "safety swing" to his little sister.

Like a great many things, she plows on in without asking for, or even admit requiring, any help.

...and gets a bit stuck under the belt that gives the "safety" swing it's name.

Wonderful Big Brother helps her out.

...and gives her a big 'ol push.

He stays to give her more pushes...

...until he notices mom and dad lounging and snacking in the sun.

I swear, if she could be guaranteed that the kid's attention would be diverted elsewhere, she'd fling herself from the swing at the apex of her trajectory and challenge me to a game of "Who can fly the farthest without breaking any bones."

She'd probably win, of course, because I'm twice her body weight and retardedly clumsy sometimes, but it'd be awesome fun.

She manages to catch me in one of my rare moments. Because we all know that I don't walk around scratching my ass all the time. Nope.

Teaching my little monkey to be a better monkey.

Also teaching her how to be a complete jackass.

A skill, Nay, an ART, at which I excel.

You can't quite see it in front of my right leg, but I'm about to watch my footy bounce into the pond.

I'd prefer to explain my lack of control of a simple inflated object on the children and not because it's oblong and bounces unpredictably when I dribble it on the sidewalk.

It's bigger than his entire torso, but he already plays like a champ.

He also runs like a champ, and without being told that there are "out of bounds" areas in Footy, he'll run around the entire freakin' park.

*Pant Pant* "Dammit boy! Come back! Daddy's out of shape and you're out of bounds!" *Pant Pant*

It's bloody awesome being "the grownup" because I'm so much bigger that I always get the ball when I want it.

However, by teaming up, they have their ways of getting it back.

Snuck a shot of my beatifully amazing wife on the phone with Best Friend Ebbie.

Our independent little Pie helps herself to lemonade for the 438th time that day.

Seriously, could she GET any cuter? I'm thinking I probably gush over these kids so much I may make even myself sick, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop, so deal.

*Sigh* So damn cute...

"No Dames, you're supposed to peel it off before you throw it... ducks don't like frosting on their cake... honest."

"Daddy! Not ALL of it!"

"Mmmfgfmm... screw the ducks, this is BUTTERSCOTCH!"

Ever take two normal-grinning-totally-happy-not-psychotic kids and tell 'em to smile big for the camera?

Yeah? Good times.